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Family Counselling

Inner Well Being > Counselling Area > Family Counselling
Family Counselling

In any relation, when two people comes closer, they surely try to create boundaries for each other. If we observe all our relations closely, we will find that in that relation, we create boundaries for the other person and if that person (unknowingly) crosses “that boundary”, we become angry & situation goes beyond control.

What exactly are these boundaries? Have we ever given a thought about it? By creating such boundaries in our relations, we actually oppose the right of other person to take own decisions, and eventually, we impose our decisions on that person…

In short, we disapprove another person’s Freedom… Which itself is “Inhuman”.

When someone’s freedom is been snatched away, the person becomes sad; and when in that same state of sadness boundaries are crossed by another person, we become sad.

If we respect each other’ freedom, then there will be no need & role of any boundaries in any relation.

In other words, “Acceptance” is “Body” & “Freedom” is “Soul” to any relation.

The family is a group of people who care about each other or depend on each other and consider themselves as such. It may be a nuclear family of parents, step-parents and children but may also include grandparents, step-children and half-siblings.

Our families absorb many of the stresses and strains from the outside world – and the pressures can boil over. Sometimes a personal problem, particularly in an adolescent, can overwhelm a family and there seems to be no clear way forward. When some problem or disappointment happens for one member the family group absorbs the impact, sometimes helping and sometimes hindering.

At other times changes within the family leave other members confused and angry or hurt. When a crisis or disappointment happens for one member the family group absorbs the impact, sometimes helping and sometimes hindering. Sometimes the help comes at a high price to one or more members.

A family is a ‘system’ or an organisation, such as a social club or a workplace, but the rules and expectations of each one are unique and complex and often seen differently by each member. It is through examining what the explicit and hidden ‘rules’ might be in each family and how they are seen and interpreted by each member that the work might begin. One of the dilemmas of modern family life is the conflict of being an individual and remaining within the group, too.

But increasingly help is now sought to help to with the extreme behaviour of one member or to adapt to a shift or change.

The family’s complex and unspoken rules can cause confusion and misunderstanding, particularly when there are changes. When someone joins a family or when someone leaves or changes their position in it the structure is altered for other members. Changes within the group members, from child to adult or from wage-earner to unemployed, are felt by the others in different ways.

The interconnected set of relationships and how difference and change might be managed is central to family counselling. The logistics of getting all members along to participate in counselling poses difficulties, but it can be a satisfying and rewarding means to establish new and healthier way of relating. Not all members attend every session; couples counselling, youth work or individual counselling may follow and the family may meet later to discuss changes.