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Post Breakup Counselling

Inner Well Being > Counselling Area > Post Breakup Counselling

A Breakup is the end of a committed romantic relationship between dating partners. Though divorce, the legal separation of a married couple, is a type of breakup, the term breakup is most often used to refer to the end of a relationship between unmarried people. A counsellor might be a helpful source of support when working through a difficult breakup.

Sometimes relationships can have a pull on us long after they’re over. It can be hard to accept that something that was once a really big part of your life is now becoming a memory. Likewise, unresolved problems can make it difficult to accept that the relationship has ended at all. However, there comes a time when we need a counselling to accept that what’s done is done and begin to look forward to what might be coming next.

When a relationship breaks up the attachments that were there don’t automatically end; there can be residual feelings for years to come, which might be expressed through bitterness, despair or hatred towards the other person. Sometimes even when we’re at the end of a relationship breakup we still have loving feelings for the ex-partner; we’re still attached. This is because of attachments, they are usually at such a deep level, that it’s hard to let go. After a breakup we will grieve for the relationship, we will do the grieving in different ways and use different strategies to cope. Securely attached individuals tend to look for support, which is often the best coping strategy, and after the proper counselling end of the relationships securely attached individuals tend to have more positive with all emotional experience than insecurely attached individuals. Whatever our attachment style we still need to navigate the loss cycle and grow with positivity.


A breakup can be painful, and the emotional weight of a breakup may be determined by a number of factors, such as:

  • The length of the relationship.
  • The plans for each member of the couple had for the future.
  • The degree of commitment within the relationship.
  • How happy the relationship was prior to the breakup.
  • Whether one of the partners would prefer to stay in the relationship.
  • Whether the relationship ended with infidelity, abuse, or other painful issues.